Manson explains lack of solo album

“Nobody wants to listen to dour sounds” – Record Executive

In a new note on Facebook Shirley has explained why her planned solo album has never seen the light of day.

You know…..I suddenly became painfully aware that there has been no official explanation about what happened to my attempt at making a solo record.

I know many of you keep asking so here is what went down.

It went down something like this.

Legal Caveat:

(Unfortunately this script is not entirely fictional. Only some of it…….and not much of it at that.)

SCENE:SHIRLEY (Red haired DIVA) and RECORD EXEC in a small recording studio

Shirley: So here is the record I’ve just made……let me play it for you…….bear in mind these are all demo’s.

(Aforementioned music plays throughout scene)

Exec: (Listening to the music for …..let’s say 30 seconds…..) Oh I know what you are doing here…….yeah I know how you did this…..

Shirley: ?!?!?!?!?!?

Exec: I could sit down at the piano right now and play this

Shirley:!??!?!?!?!?

Exec: Uhuh……..yeah…..you’re doing the kind of production that’s so in right now…..yeah……..uhuh….yeah I could do this……

Shirley: ?!?!?!??!?!?!

Exec: Yeah…….very cool…….very dark

Shirley: Oh. Great. Glad you like it!!!

Exec: Thing is……..we’re not really looking for dark music right now.

Shirley: Oh

Exec: Yeah ……You see…….we want international radio hits and well this just wouldn’t cut it on international radio. You could maybe sell 150k and you’d definitely get good critical response……lots of good reviews and all that but here at this company well…….. we are in the business of musical excellence and well……….this just isn’t excellent.

Shirley: !??!?!?!?!?!!

Exec: How we’d like to see your career shape up from here is that we would market you as the next Annie Lennox. Yep…..the world is waiting for the next Annie Lennox and you could definitely be her. You need a handful of pop hits like Sweet Dreams and Here Comes that Girl again and something like WHY…..and you’d be golden. None of this dark yucky stuff. Nobody wants to listen to dour sounds. Nope. Excellence is the business we are in. And that’s what we do here. We make pop hits that make the whole world sing.

Shirley: Oh. I see.

Exec: Well……that’s about it for now. Got another meeting to go to. Thanks for coming in. Goodbye…..

Shirley: Oh…..em…….okay……well…….goodbye…….

(Exec exits)

Legal Caveat repeated:

(Unfortunately this script is not entirely fictional . Only some of it…….and not much of it at that.)